This is the 3rd time, Dr Chan and I are doing long-distance. Long-distance, sucks. The farewells are often, weepy. Once he stood curb side asking the taxi-driver for a moment- Please. I want to say goodbye to my wife. Hearing him utter those words, broke me.
When we finally meet again especially on home turf, he really makes an effort to date me. Dating in one’s 21st year of marriage is a lot more fun than the whole dating drama pre-marriage. For starters, there’s none of that silly worry- will I like him enough, will he like me more, what happens after dinner, do I have food stuck in my teeth.
Even better- not having to bother about impressing each other, because you’ve already vowed in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, till death do us part. Besides, over the last 2 decades, you’ve given each other your youth, hopes, fears, and at mid life, you find yourself amongst the truly blessed because you are healthy, and still very much, like each other.
Like is so different from, love. Love has tragedy, pathos, grandiose themes. Like is simplicity at its very best; efficient, swift. I like the way you frame me. I like the way you speak. I like your mind. I like your kindness, your gentleness. I like that you do what you say you will. I like that you are a tall man.
I really like being your friend. And oh, I like talking to you, and knowing there’s more of you to know.
So last Friday night, Dr Chan suggested dinner in Chinatown, and then spontaneously took me to listen to music after.
Dinner was excellent. The music nostalgic, good fun. I was introduced to his piano teacher.
I had too good a time.
My date brought me home, kept me safe. In the morning, he got up, walked Angel, went to work. I woke up with a severe headache and a repulsion to alcohol. Periodically through the day, he texted to check on my shameful state.
Baby, how are you feeling? Better rest. Baby, don’t forget dinner tonight… we need to be seated by 7:15pm… Baby, it’s a formal dinner, I have to wear my jacket… But you don’t need to be too dressed ok, doctors- very conservative… don’t do fashionista….
Oh, another date!