I would like to take a moment to say a huge thank you to you, the reader, for stopping by.
Thank you. Thank you, very much.
I was careless with this blog last week, because Dumpling’s departure unhinged me. Much as I am a visual, theatrical person, I don’t like melodrama in self-expression. In my art pursuits, I am really trying to find a way to explore the human heart, as plainly as possible.
It’s a challenge I give myself daily.
I also give myself, very strict timelines. I will allow tears, and grief, and some anger- but only for a set duration. After that, I must get on with things.
It’s Christmas after all- “the most wonderful time of the year”.
Finally confronting the loss of Dumpling by writing, helped me identify why his loss felt worse than previous experiences of pain. As a child, I watched my parents’ marriage break down. I have been dumped on Thanksgiving, my favourite dog died while having an epileptic seizure in my arms, and my grandmother, has passed away. Lets not even venture into the Pandora Box of 9/11, Paris, and oh, by the way? We’ve started bombing, Syria.
Putting things together calms me. But what has been so helpful as well, has been the outpouring of kindness, from so many readers like you.
So then I found the headspace to get on with Christmas. For starters, these will need to go.
Goodbye, Dumpling. I am going to place some mistletoe here instead.
I finally opened my one box of Christmas decorations.
Seeing everything meticulously wrapped, made me smile. Unwrapping each ornament inevitably jolted memory.
That first Christmas three years ago, I was still struggling to find, a sense of belonging.
So I poured my hopes out along these lines…
and Christmas looked like this.
Last Christmas, everything was in storage. In temporary quarters, Christmas had to be improvised.
I love improvisation!
But I also really love having, my own home.
I’ll be home for the holidays. For there will be new stories to craft, new memories to make.