Ever After

Kelly Lola Carmichael is the General Manager of Michael Kors, at Valiram Group in Singapore.

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There was a time, I had thought, we would be family.  During that time, when our paths on occasion crossed, I remembered her vivacity, her joire de vivre.  My sister is really smart, her brother would say to me.  I remember always feeling a little in awe.  She was possibly the most sophisticated girl I had ever encountered at 19.

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Many years passed.  One day, her mother held my hand, saying, Frank has cancer.  Kelly is still working very hard.  They have 2 boys.

Another day, her brother looked at me, exhaling, It’s been really, really hard.  Kelly had to, Frank is.

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…There was so much to do and to take care of, that something as abstract as finding love didn’t compute in the equation of life at that time.  During those lonely and quiet times, I longed for relief and distractions…Anything to escape to…Band-Aid solutions.

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At some point, I did want to date, just to be out there, meeting new people, and strangely be validated as being still a woman, not a widow.  I knew I didn’t want to be alone, the rest of my life.

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It was not easy at first because… well, I hadn’t gone on a date forever!  It was nerve-wrecking, in a school girl kind of way.  But at the same time, it made me feel alive and excited, and it provided distractions to an otherwise pretty routine and lonesome life.

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I read somewhere that widows have a tendency to be impatient… make poor choices.  I have to say I have met a few questionable characters too.  But I will say to fellow widows, to not let that stop you.  Just be smart, and sensible, and move on.

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Andrew and I met through a mutual friend of Frank’s.  Within 2 weeks, it was apparent that we were going to be together for a long time.

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What’s it like being married again, and being a wife again?

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I looooove it!

What scares you most about love?

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They die on you.

Would you encourage women who suddenly find themselves in mid-life to be optimistic about love?  Is that difficult to have, to have, hope?

Absolutely!  I think it is not uncommon to feel hopelessness at first.. Guilt can set in, as if it is a betrayal to love someone else.

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A widow goes through a lot of ups and downs emotionally, and many conflicting feelings.  But ultimately everyone deserves to be happy.  It’s important to keep an open mind and heart.  It may not necessary be another man/woman that makes one happy.  Love can come from many sources…Whatever it is, it’s just important to keep on having love, in one’s life.

  •  All photographs belong to Kelly, and used with her permission.

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